


Heart and Soul

by pook



Series: Getting to Know You [5]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Episode Related, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-07-02 03:25:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15787968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pook/pseuds/pook
Summary: A Cathexis episode addition.





	Heart and Soul

**Author's Note:**

> This is part 5 of my ‘Getting to know you’ series. This occurs one month after part 4.
> 
> Special thanks to Elem for the beta.
> 
> Fic101 list#2 – prompt #74 – prayer

Brain dead. 

Her first officer was … 

Kathryn started to repeat then stopped the words in her mind. She didn’t want to contemplate the implications. 

Her stomach churned as she left sickbay and acting purely on autopilot she strode out of the room like nothing had happened. But if anyone looked closely they’d see her fingernails were digging into her palms and her teeth were clenched together. 

Chakotay wasn’t just any officer under her command. He was her friend and quite possibly the closest friend she’d ever had. She’d relied on his friendship and support over the last four months both professionally and personally especially during the last month. There was something between then, something beyond friendship that she found very hard to define. She’d never experienced such a deep connection with another person before. 

And now he was brain dead.

Apart from the red mottling on the right side of his face, he looked like he was sleeping, but he was only breathing and his heart was only still beating because of the Doctor’s intervention and the sickbay’s machines. If his very essence or spirit were to be lost to her, he might as well have be dead. It would be just his body laying there, only a shell.

Dead. 

The sad thought that she may never see that smile, the flash of his dimples again or the glint in his eyes when they exchanged good-humoured banter was almost overwhelming. What if the Doctor couldn’t heal him?

What will the Maquis do? Fuck! Everyone was still so fragile after Seska’s defection. Kathryn had no idea what affect Chakotay’s death would have on the Maquis. Would they try to take over the ship? Would they blame Tuvok and kill him or take out their frustrations on her by hurting or killing her? So many questions flooded her mind that it almost paralysed her. She stopped dead in the middle of the corridor.

What about her? Could she continue without him? Without a doubt, the captain could but she wasn’t so sure about Kathryn. They had so far to go.

Already Chakotay had helped her after her flashback on that frozen world a month ago. He’d understood and, with typical Maquis ingenuity, had assisted her in coming to terms with her father’s and Justin’s death with understanding and a minimal fuss. 

She’d spent most of her time, on and off duty with her now stricken, first officer – working dinners, repairs, revising tactics, personnel training programs and evaluations, and all the seemingly never-ending bureaucracy of the ship that filled her days and nights. They’d developed into a good team but it could all be over. 

Needing to regain control, she pinched the bridge of her nose and breathed in deeply, her thumb and forefinger running over her tired eyes. All she could think of was what a great, big, fucking mess this all was.

After a few moments of self-wallowing, the captain sighed, and then breathed in deeply to expunge the dark thoughts. The crew needed her to be her usual confident self, so she straightened her uniform, squared her shoulders, stood tall and then continued towards the bridge like it was just another day in this god-forsaken quadrant. 

—

Chakotay essence drifted through the corridors on Voyager. He’d already failed to turn the ship around by using Tom’s body to change the heading and lock out navigation control and now he was working his way towards engineering as fast as he could. He had to stop the ship entering the nebula.

He was still getting used to the idea of being a bodiless consciousness.

At first when he’d floated over his unconscious body in the shuttle, he’d thought he must have died but then he realized that the Spirits hadn’t been there to greet him nor had his parents, sisters and his other ancestors. His faith was strong and he’d seen no reason to doubt his beliefs. 

This wasn’t death. It had to be something else.

What confirmed that he hadn’t died was when he’d seen a light blue energy ‘being’ enter the unconscious Tuvok. The ‘possessed’ Tuvok had recovered quickly and turned on the autopilot. All Chakotay could do was watch as the alien had made Tuvok wipe the central computer. 

If the strange aliens had wanted to kill them, they could have easily done so, destroying the shuttle with their small but powerful ships. Why had they needed to take over Tuvok’s body to set the autopilot or wipe the computer? It had then dawned on Chakotay that the energy beings themselves couldn’t control the ship. They needed a physical host to work the controls. He’d thought he might be able to do the same thing when he realised he was able to move by just thinking about it.

After the alien had made Tuvok do what it wanted, Chakotay watched in horror as a dark blue energy beam came out of Tuvok’s hand and struck the Vulcan in the head, throwing him to the deck, unconscious. His head had hit the deck with a sickening thud. 

Waiting for whatever the alien had planned had been frustrating. He couldn’t do anything except float above his and Tuvok’s body and wait. Fortunately it wasn’t long before Voyager turned up. 

It had been very disconcerting to see his body and the unconscious Tuvok beamed off the shuttle. As soon as the shuttle had docked, Chakotay had made his way to the bridge. He’d been drifting around the bridge gathering as much information as he could. He’d known that they were on their way back to the dark matter nebula. 

Wanting to stop the alien ambush, Chakotay had tried to stop Voyager getting close to nebula by changing course and trying to lock out the navigational controls but it hadn’t worked. Tom’s clearance hadn’t been high enough and the captain and Harry had been able to easily circumvent his efforts.

It was time for something more drastic. 

He had to shut down the warp core and he had to do it quickly. 

Entering Engineering, he saw B’Elanna working the main diagnostic console. Like he did with Tom, Chakotay apologized to his friend before invading her subconscious, then set about putting his plan into action. He watched with some fascination as, under his control, the engineer’s deft fingers worked the console.

Chakotay had been glad that Tom hadn’t remembered what had happened to him. It was bad enough that he’d invaded their minds without the worry of having access to their personal thoughts. Chakotay found he had some control over what parts of the subconscious he could access. As soon as he discovered this control, he put up a barrier to Tom and B’Elanna’s private thoughts and got on with the job.

B’Elanna finished doing what he wanted. It would take around minute for the cascade to begin. Chakotay flew out of B’Elanna’s mind and hovered around ready to watch what happened next. 

Within seconds, alarms rang out and before B’Elanna or anyone else could do anything, the low throb of the warp core changed as the irreversible core shut down procedure started. B’Elanna looked confused. She’d been running a normal system check and then the next minute, alarms were going off. Consoles were dead, bridge access was cut off and confused engineers were running around like headless chickens trying to figure out what had just happened.

B’Elanna was still confused when the captain came down to see why she’d initiated a warp core shutdown. She couldn’t explain what had happened but meekly followed her captain and Tuvok to sickbay.

—

“Is it possible that you inflicted her wounds?”

Chakotay smiled to himself as he floated around the ready room. Kathryn was now suspicious of Tuvok. This was good. Not many things got past Kathryn. 

“Me?” Tuvok replied innocently.

“Maybe you were inhabited by the alien at that moment.” Kathryn eyed her old friend up and down. Something wasn’t right and with every evasive answer she grew more suspicious.

“It is possible. Perhaps we should have the doctor run a neurological scan to see if I show a memory disruption.”

Chakotay laughed again knowing the alien inside Tuvok had already deactivated the EMH. The alien didn’t want anyone scanning his host.

Kathryn’s eyes never left Tuvok, studying him intently. “Agreed. Janeway to Sickbay. Computer, activate Emergency Medical Holographic System.”

_“Unable to comply. The EMH program has been disabled.”_

“Disabled? By whom?” Kathryn already had a fair idea who had done this and why.

_“Unknown.”_

Kathryn checked the Doctor’s program. “The Doctor’s initialization routine has been locked out. It’s encrypted. I can’t reactivate the program.”

“It appears the lockout originated somewhere above deck four.”

“Why would someone deactivate the Doctor?” 

“The Doctor does hold the command codes to Voyager.”

“Yes, but once he was deactivated the codes automatically reverted back to me.”

“If we assume the alien could not take over the holographic doctor, then logically it would try to force the command codes back into a humanoid host.” 

To Chakotay, Tuvok’s explanations seemed reasonable and logical but he could tell that Kathryn knew something was wrong. 

Kathryn stood up. “Me.” She paused, worried about the implications. “It’s too dangerous for one person to retain the command codes at this point. I suggest we divide my command protocols into two code groupings.”

“A sensible precaution.”

“You would be the reasonable choice to hold the second grouping, if there’s any such thing as a reasonable choice right now. The alien could occupy either one of us at any time.”

“But presumably, not both of us at the same time.”

“I’ll tell the bridge crew the plan. We’ll all have to act as checks and balances for each other.”

The two officers walked onto the bridge.

Desperate now, Chakotay had to find a way of stopping Tuvok. Every passing moment took them closer to the nebula and their probable deaths. Kathryn was armed with a phaser but so was Tuvok. 

Chakotay would have to do something drastic. He’d have to take over his captain and get her to shoot her oldest friend. 

“I want you all to be aware of something that has happened; something I must assume was due to the alien.”

Chakotay said a prayer of forgiveness and then flew into Kathryn’s subconscious. Immediately overwhelmed, he stopped. He was completely unprepared for what he discovered and it took a moment before he regained control and was able to retreat away from her private thoughts. 

It appeared that Kathryn also felt the deep connection between them – gone that well beyond friendship. Over the past four months, they’d been getting closer as they got to know each other but what he didn’t know was how she really felt. And now he knew. She cared for him deeply, more than just as another officer under her command. It came from deep with in her, from her very heart. It was both liberating and terrifying at the same time but he’d dithered long enough. There wasn’t time. He’d think about the implications of this information when Voyager was safe.

“The Doctor has been deactivated, and we can’t get him back online. I have decided to divide my command protocols.” Kathryn turned toward Tuvok.

“Captain?”

Chakotay made Kathryn backhand Tuvok as soon as he turned around, knocking him down. Unfortunately, Tuvok had seen the blow coming and although it knocked him to the deck, it was only a glancing one. 

Tuvok drew his phaser but Kathryn kicked it out of his hand.

“Stun her, she’s the alien!” yelled Tuvok.

Under Chakotay’s control, Kathryn was too slow in drawing her phaser but Tom didn’t hesitate and fired his, hitting his captain in the stomach and sending her flying backwards on to the deck.

Chakotay quickly transferred himself to Kim and then to Durst but again he was too slow. Tom disarmed Kim easily and although Durst got off a shot in it went wide. In the end, he watched helplessly as Tuvok used the wide beam to stun them all.

—

There was only one other option left for him to try and it had worked. Ejecting the warp core had slowed the ship down enough allowing the sensor array time to power up the magneton flash scan. He’d watched with some satisfaction when the captain had been able to start the scan just as the Komar were launching their attack.

With the help of Chakotay taking over Neelix, Voyager had successfully navigated its way out of the nebula.

—

“Captain’s log, Stardate 48735.9. We have returned to the co-ordinates where we ejected the warp core and have successfully retrieved it. Now we’re hoping the Doctor will be able to successfully reintegrate Commander Chakotay’s consciousness. End log.”

Kathryn drained the last dregs of her tepid coffee as she watched the stars streak by her viewport. The Doctor had said it would take several hours before they’d know if the procedure he’d designed had been successful. There was little for her to do but sit and think. Everything that needed to be done had been done. She’d helped Lt. Torres reinstall the warp core, all the reports had been filled in and filed away. All she could do now was to sit and wait and _that_ was something she’d never been good at.

Her thoughts immediately went to Chakotay, lying in sickbay two decks below her, facing a procedure that had never been tried before. She was grateful that Tuvok was still unconscious; otherwise he might have quoted some very long odds on the success of the reintegration. Despite those odds, the Doctor had been confident of the ‘treatment’ he’d devised. She also knew that it was the only one that he could think of and therefore, the only hope of ever reintegrating her first officer’s consciousness.

Kathryn worried about how successful the treatment would be, along with a million other seemingly unanswerable questions. Some led to what would happen if the unthinkable occurred and the procedure failed? She needed someone to talk to and, if she were honest, perhaps even a shoulder to cry on. It had been just one of those days. But with both her senior officers were out of action, there was nobody else. There was only one other option. She’d have to talk to herself. 

She walked to the bookcase and got her medicine bundle then sat down on the floor. Crossing her legs, she unrolled the deerskin bundle and laid her hands gently on the akoonah. She concentrated on the stone. “A-koo-chee-moya. We are far from the sacred places of our grandfathers. We are far from the bones of our people…”

She opened her eyes and the familiar landscape of her childhood home greeted her. The old white painted house, with its wide veranda and the porch swing near the front door, stood before her. She looked up at the second storey and saw her open bedroom window, with the summer breeze blowing the blue curtains in and out. She sighed, content, imagining her mother cooking brownies in the kitchen while she and Phoebe played outside and waited impatiently for their father to come home. Her memories of her childhood were peaceful and fun-filled.

Kathryn walked around to the back of the house to her thinking tree. Somehow, she knew her spirit guide would be waiting for her there. The little grey gecko was sunning itself on the trunk of the tree.

“Hello, Kathryn.” The gecko stretched out. “By now, you should know that I can’t give you the answers to those questions.”

Kathryn smiled. She liked her spirit guide. It got straight to the point. No pussy footing around.

“I can’t tell you that he’ll be all right or not. I don’t know yet. All I can tell you is that you’ll find it with in yourself to carry on, what ever happens. Just like you’ve always done. You have the inner strength.”

Normally she didn’t have to say all that much. The little reptile was her after all.

“But when he does recover, you’ll be there for him just as he will be there for you.”

Out the corner of her eye, Kathryn saw movement. A wolf sauntered around from the side of the house where she’d soaking up the warm summer sun, and lay at the foot of the tree. In all her previous spirit walks, the only being she ever saw was her guide, the little grey gecko.

“Your wahkanay will be with you always whatever happens.” 

“Wahkanay?” She had no idea what that meant but the lizard spoke the word with such reverence, that she knew it must be something very special. Perhaps it was a special type of spirit guide manifesting itself as the wolf.

The wolf jumped up, her ears twitched around and let out several soft barks. 

The gecko nodded. “Ask Chakotay what it means when he wakes up. We’ll talk later, Kathryn.”

Kathryn wanted to ask more questions but smiled because the gecko had just curtly dismissed her, just as any admiral would have.

_“Doctor to Janeway.”_

As soon as she released the akoonah, Kathryn heard the Doctor’s hail. The wolf and her gecko must have known the Doctor had wanted to contact her. She tapped her badge. “Go ahead, Doctor.”

_“Captain, I’ve finished the procedure. I …”_

“I’ll be right down.” Kathryn jumped up, rolled up her medicine bundle, and headed for her door.

_“Very well, Captain.”_

—

“Did it work?” Kathryn waited by the side of the biobed. 

Running the cortical probe over Chakotay’s head one last time, the EMH checked his tricorder. “It appears so.” The Doctor closed the tricorder.

Chakotay slowly became aware that his consciousness was where it should be. He wasn’t floating above things as he had been. Making sure, he wiggled his toes and fingers and was pleased with the results. He could hear the Doctor and Kathryn talking. He opened his eyes slowly, blinking as the room slowly spun.

“Commander, can you hear me?”

“Yes.” He could hear the Doctor and was thankful when the room finally stopped spinning.

Kathryn’s hand snaked out, waiting. Hesitant about touching him, her hand hovered just above his shoulder. She tried to hide the little trembles she felt as her fingers lingered above his bronze skin. It had been the first time that she had seen this much of him and she struggled to keep in check her emotions and responses to being this close to him.

Chakotay felt the heat from her hand as it lingered above his shoulder. He felt the connection arc between them, tingling and sweet. 

The Doctor asked him how he was.

“I’m a little dizzy, but I think I’m all here.” Chakotay groaned and tried to lift his head. A very bad move, he decided. Flashes of light and sharp daggers of pain in his head were enough to stop any further movement.

When he uttered those words, she knew that he was going to be all right. She bowed her head in relief and then she gently laid her hand on his shoulder. Her relief outweighed any pretence for keeping a captainly distance from him. She had to touch him. She couldn’t resist.

As the pain receded, he became aware of Kathryn’s soft hand resting on his shoulder. Her fingers pressed gently into his skin, comforting him. Focusing on Kathryn, his world consisted of her and the feeling of her hand on his chest, as it eased the pain away. Her love flowed though her hand into him.

Relief washed over B’Elanna, now that she knew her friend was going to be okay, but her natural curiosity to know how things worked needed to be quenched as well. “How did you manage to reintegrate his consciousness?” 

The Doctor adjusted the biobed settings and with some pride, he explained the procedure. “It involved three neural transceivers, two cortical stimulators, and fifty gigaquads of computer memory. I would be happy to take you through the process, but it would take at least ten hours to explain it all to you. Needless to say, it was a remarkable procedure. I would consider writing a paper about it if there were a convenient forum in which to publish it.”

Kathryn continued to rest her hand on Chakotay’s chest. She barely listened to the Doctor’s explanation, as her eyes never left Chakotay’s. Blue stared at brown. When the Doctor left, she leaned in closer and put her other hand on his chest. She was ecstatic that he seemed to be all right and it felt good to feel his heartbeat under her fingertips. “What happened, Commander?”

B’Elanna watched with increasing interest the exchange between her former captain and her new one. For a few seconds, she and the Doctor might as well have not been in the room. The Captain and Chakotay were in a universe of their own. The Captain positively beamed at him and Chakotay returned a knowing smile. B’Elanna couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen the captain truly smile like that. It was a very happy smile. One mainly of relief, she thought, at first. 

B’Elanna thought for a moment. Janeway’s questions, her tone, and even her body language weren’t typical of a captain’s concern for an injured officer. This was something deeper. The way the captain smiled and her concerned tone, B’Elanna knew it had to be something more. She vowed not to say anything to Tom Paris about how Janeway’s hands were practically all over Chakotay’s chest. Tom Paris was a pig, she wasn’t. The captain was a tactile person but this went beyond a simple reassuring pat on the arm. 

Looking back, over the last of few months, the engineer had watched, as the two senior officers grew closer together. It didn’t take very long for B’Elanna’s hostility toward her new captain to change to respect. Janeway knew her ship backwards. She was everything that she hoped for in a captain and more, inspiring all her crew and helping her to do this was her friend, Chakotay. 

Although the Maquis was less structured and disciplined than Starfleet, Chakotay never fully confided in B’Elanna. He was her captain and Chakotay’s Starfleet training still ran deep. He’d kept a certain amount of distance but would still help all those in his cell. B’Elanna was happy that the captain and Chakotay had become friends because they didn’t have anyone else to turn to. Chakotay had been a captain, albeit on a Maquis raider but he would understand.

B’Elanna said her goodbyes and left for the Mess hall and lunch.

—

Kathryn sat in her quarters, mulling over the events of the past few days.

Repairs had been completed and they were continuing on a course for the Alpha Quadrant. The Alpha shift had passed without incident. All the reports were finished and signed off. Having nothing to do was a rarity for a starship captain. 

She looked toward her bookcase, hoping for inspiration. Reading a book would relax her but instead she felt a tinge of sadness when she came across a picture of Mark. 

Mark. 

The picture had been taken outside his apartment in Rio. They’d just spent the day at the carnival, soaking up the wonderful atmosphere. She stood up and walked over to the picture. Her thumb ran across the frame, and she smiled as she remembered their woeful attempt at doing the samba, fuelled by a few too many Caipirinhas. Mark was now so far away and probably lost to her forever. Starfleet would have classed them as missing, presumed lost, a month ago and she wished that Mark wouldn’t hold out hope for too long. It would take them a lifetime to get home.

A lifetime.

She’d thought she’d feel more guilty because she hadn’t thought about Mark for some time but she didn’t. Maybe, subconsciously, it was her way of letting him go and more of a realization of the fact he was so far away and that another had filled that particular gap in her life.

Chakotay.

Two men she cared for deeply, one was gone and the other had just had a near miss.

What did that mean? She wasn’t sure except that today she’d nearly lost Chakotay. If he’d died then she would have been more than devastated. She would have been heartbroken. His passing would have left a huge hole in her heart but somehow she’d have continued for the sake of their crew.

Kathryn replaced the photograph on the shelf and spotted her medicine bundle. She was grateful to her guide because it had given her hope. The lizard had strongly intimated that he’d be all right but it was still an enormous relief when the Doctor declared him to be fine and released him to recover in his quarters. The gecko mentioned that Chakotay would know what a wahkanay was. It seemed lkie a good time to ask and she could use it as an excuse to find out how he was feeling. 

She grabbed her uniform jacket and walked next door. 

When the door slid open, Kathryn stepped through. Waving him back down as he started to stand up. “Please don’t get up.” She walked over to his sofa.

“Thank you, Kathryn.” Chakotay slid over to allow her room to sit down. “The ship?” 

“All repaired. Nothing that B’Elanna couldn’t fix.” 

“Sorry about that,” Chakotay apologized. He’d locked out navigation control, shut down the warp core and then eventually ejected the core causing problems for Engineering and, in particular, its chief engineer, B’Elanna. He wasn’t looking forward to explaining his actions to his friend. 

“Don’t worry about it. You were trying to save the ship. B’Elanna understands. Well, I hope she does. Any way, I haven’t seen her polishing her Bat’leth yet although I wouldn’t go to engineering just yet.” Kathryn smiled. “Just to be safe.”

Chakotay blew out a mock sigh of relief.

She patted his arm. “How are you?”

He hoped she couldn’t feel his heart miss a beat when she touched him. “I’m all right.”

Kathryn looked at him closely, trying to tell if he was hiding his true condition. Until recently, she’d done that all the time.

Chakotay smiled under her scrutiny. “I am. Really.”

“I’m glad.” Kathryn grinned back. He looked a little tired. One day she hoped he’d tell her how he really felt. She decided to change the subject. “I went on a spirit walk while the Doctor … reintegrated you.”

Chakotay was pleased she’d tried to find some answers to her questions. “And?”

“My guide was very helpful although something new happened.” 

“What was that?”

“Normally the only creature I see is my guide but this time a saw another animal.” Kathryn knew that she couldn’t say what the creature was. “I’ve never seen another human or animal. What does it mean?”

Now his heart was in his mouth. His wolf was now in her walks just as her guide was in his. He could only whisper his answer, “Generally it means that someone represented by the animal cares deeply for you, and just as your guide does, it is there to help you and guide you.” He couldn’t quite bring himself to say the word love because he’d only realized a moment ago that he loved her. Deeply. More than any other woman he’d known. 

She was his wahkanay, his soul mate and he was in love with her. No grand flashes in the sky or pompous music heralded this discovery. It was just a quiet realization of everything that has happened between them since she first put her hand on his chest on that fateful first day in the Delta Quadrant. 

He let that knowledge sink in. 

Kathryn paused. Chakotay had helped her but it was so much more. Could it be that the wolf was Chakotay’s guide? She looked at him even more closely. Just the look on his face told her that he was. He wore his heart on his sleeve and the look of love was there plain as day.

Just then she knew loved him. Of that, she was in no doubt. It was an epiphany that took her breath away. Part of her wanted to analyse how this had happened but her heart won out and she allowed herself the luxury of basking in the feelings of this new discovery. With Mark, it had taken months to process her feelings but with Chakotay, it was an immediate realization and it was breathtaking. 

Time stood still and the temperature in the cabin seemed to go up a few degrees. 

Chakotay felt the change in atmosphere in the room too. From the strange look in Kathryn’s eye, he realized something had happened. He wasn’t sure exactly what it was yet. 

Tentatively, Kathryn edged her hand into the space between them. “What does wahkanay mean?”

His hand met hers half way and covered, gently squeezing it. “It means soul mate. But so much more.” 

Soul mate and more.

“Like Imzadi?” Her voice steeped with emotion, barely audible above her pounding heartbeat.

Chakotay smiled slightly. Kathryn, his love, understood. “Similar.” Whereas Imzadi was one’s first true love, a wahkanay was one’s soul mate, a once in a lifetime experience that lasted a lifetime. It was such a deep connection, going beyond love and was almost spiritual. Did she feel that way toward him? Kathryn was a scientist. Would she believe in such a connection? He knew from what his father told had him that one was powerless to resist it and nearly impossible to deny. 

He wouldn’t deny it any longer. He now realized that he’d hidden his love behind his vow to help her in any way that he could and to be by her side through thick and thin.

“Wahkanay …” Kathryn closed her eyes as she whispered the word. His hand still covered hers but now his thumb slowly stroked the back of her hand. She liked the sound of word and the idea of a soul mate. It described what they had perfectly.

He twisted around slightly and carefully and slowly moved his hand up to her face. “My wahkanay.” His fingers feathered along her cheeks and jaw line, barely touching her soft skin as he whispered a prayer thanking the Spirits.

Without opening her eyes, her head tilted toward his hand. Shivers went up her spine as he caressed her face. It felt wonderful. “Chakotay…”

“Kathryn … “ Chakotay cupped her face, studying it, taking it all in, her lines, her freckles, her blue-grey eyes, and her soft reddish lips. From the first moment he’d seen her on Liberty’s viewscreen, he was captivated. She’d been sent to capture him and she managed to do it without even seeing him in the flesh. She was beautiful and he felt blessed. 

Opening her eyes, Kathryn sighed and brought her hands up to rest on his sides. 

Tears welled in both of their eyes. The emotions were so close to the surface. Kathryn moved in a little closer. Their faces were only inches apart and their eyes locked in a loving gaze. Tentatively their lips met for the first time. It was just a light touch, a taste of things to come. 

_“Doctor to Chakotay.”_ The Doctor’s hail broke the spell in the room.

They pulled apart but remained close. Chakotay pointed to the cortical monitor he wore on his neck then tapped his combadge. “Chakotay here.”

_“Your blood pressure spiked for moment. Are you feeling all right?”_

Kathryn smiled, having a fair idea why the readings spiked. She almost felt the electricity spark between them as they kissed.

“I’m fine, Doctor.” He was so much more than fine. He was deliriously happy.

_“You should be asleep. You need as much sleep as possible to ensure the procedure works. Do you require a sedative?”_

Kathryn’s hand rested tenderly on his thigh as the Doctor droned on. 

“No.” Chakotay just wanted him to go away so he could continue what they’d just started. On second thoughts though, there was little chance that he was going to get any sleep tonight. Her hand on his thigh, lightly caressing him, as the Doctor spoke was very distracting and sensual. Already his mind was going at a million miles an hour, trying to put everything into perspective. “Yes, Doctor. Can you beam it to my quarters?”

_“All right, Commander. I’ll arrange it and I’ll expect you to come to sickbay at 0900 hours.”_

“Yes, Doctor.” 

_“Doctor out.”_

Kathryn was a little disappointed that she’d have to leave but they had a lifetime to continue what they had started. She held his hands. “I should go.”

They turned toward the familiar whine of the transporter beam. The hypospray materialized on his dining table. 

He knew the Doctor would be calling him again unless he used the sedative. The cortical monitor would alert him immediately. “I know.”

They stood up and walked to the door, still hand in hand. He drew her into a warm embrace, wrapping his large arms around her.

It felt wonderful to be held by him, surrounding her, protecting her. Not that she needed protection but sometimes it just felt wonderful to be hugged. She pulled back a little and looked deeply into his eyes. “Chakotay, I love you.” Saying those words seemed a natural progression considering everything that had happened. It wasn’t hard and it was so heart felt.

“Spirits, I love you, Kathryn.” 

Kathryn beamed a smile at him and pointed to the cortical monitor. “When you get that thing off, we’ll continue this.” She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him lightly on the cheek. “Are you with me?”

“Always and forever.” Chakotay smiled back. He would follow her to hell and back. As his captain, she was brave and brilliant, and engendered an almost instantaneous respect and devotion. As his soul mate, she was beautiful and a wonderful friend, being there for him when he needed her and willing for him to help her as well. She was his heart and soul.

“Good. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She pushed the exit button and stepped into the corridor. “Have a good sleep, Commander.”

“Aye, Captain.”

The door closed and both officers went about their business, with a smile and spring in their step. 


End file.
